The truth is that small still voice was asking me how many times I used blame as an excuse in my life. Ouch! Did I really have to deal with this issue…this morning!?!? Of course, the still small voice being so loving said, “no, you don’t HAVE to deal with anything today, but when will you?” My heart became “all ears”.
Then, like a movie it all came to me. Blaming the bra maker for all of our problems is what so many of us do. Hey, I don’t have to look at myself because all eyes are on the object I am pointing towards…but not so fast…what is this I see??? Oh yeah <giggle>!!! THREE FINGERS pointing right back at me! Sigh!
I had to ask myself, did the bra maker make you stay in bed extra time this morning? Did the bra maker distract you from your to-do list last night so that you would be even more behind this morning? Oh, and did the bra maker make you put off filling up your gas tank so you would have to stop in the morning? The answers were staring me in the face --- anytime I have blamed someone other than myself, I’m blaming the bra maker. In reality, THERE IS NO BRA MAKER, and even if there is…he/she is not to blame!
“Ok then,” I thought, “What about the kids? They left stuff all over the bathroom floor which made me trip. Then they put my keys in the wrong place so I couldn’t find them. Then…” The still small voice interjected with a clearing of the throat and the movie started again...
What had really happened was the to-do list had that pile of clothes on it, I was supposed to put it in the washer. As for the keys, I told my daughter the night before to “just put them right there!” She put them right there all right, she only did what I asked and put them where “there” was to her. Ah-ha…I had allowed and invited all of these things to happen, it was time to accept responsibility!
What control do I have and how can I change?
The quote by Gandhi, “Be the change you want to see in the world” has always held deep meaning to me and after this short mental film, it was even more apparent. I know I can’t control the bra maker, but I can only control and change myself. Now things were clear, if I want things to work out differently I have to be accountable and do things differently. Starting with the bra maker…I relinquish him from his responsibilities and I take them on as my own!
So many times in life we turn over our power to others. By blaming others for our own short comings, we are giving them power over our actions and ultimately our lives. There is nothing more empowering than saying, “Yes, I’m responsible for that!” and doing what it takes to turn the situations into a win!
I’m not saying I’ll never employ the bra maker again, but for now…let’s just say he’s on an indefinite leave of absence!